Monday, September 23, 2013

wow - revelation

I have been wanting to get on here and share with whomever reads this, but also to keep a record of Yahweh's amazing ways.

I knew while we were in that hard season a little while back, that it was only an opportunity for us to respond right, and doing so would launch us further spiritually. And it most certainly has done just that.

One day, out of nowhere, I realized I had an outstanding amount of patience and love with Ruby and Nora. I had kept the house clean regularly, groceries were bought, and I was consistently happy. Then, I realized it had been going on for days...and I felt like "what the heck is happening?! Normally my responsibilities are swallowing me, I feel overwhelmed and somewhat defeated and pretty irritable when it all hits at once. But now? I'm LOVING every day. I see the mess in my house and car, but I really don't mind! It means we have little life around here that are learning and exploring and that's not only fine...that's WONDERFUL!" I had been struggling with feeling like the girls were in charge and I was their lowly servant, obeying their their every desire, but the tables had turned. I was lovingly in control, and it was working. I was firm, and they respected that and responded well to it. I have been loving every aspect of Motherhood.

I was feeling a little "uh...what the heck. This is too good to be true" (hate to admit that! but it was just so out-of-nowhere!) So when Kevin got home I walked outside by myself for a few minutes and started to pray and ask Yahweh what exactly this newness was. And He showed me almost immediately.

Blessing does not always look like money, although it's easy to think that way in our culture. It does not always mean stuff, or nothing ever going bad.
To us, the greatest blessings are the spiritual downloads to our character that change our lives forever.
To go from struggling in my flesh all the time to suddenly...not. To be given the love that exists way past little frustrations. To have the patience that spans further than any of my responsibilities. It's amazing! I can't explain how free I feel!

Yahweh showed me that the rough season was allowed so that we could qualify to enter into this place I'm in now. So that He could set me free in so many areas that I cried out to be changed in. It amazes me, His timing of things. We ask, and He listens, but He waits for the perfect timing to let us "get" it.

When you go through a hard, difficult, and very challenging time, and if you have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, then I hope you remember my story.
Know that you are being qualified for greatness.
Know that it is worth it.
Obedience ALWAYS brings blessing. Saying "I don't know what's happening, Father, but I trust you." gives Him full reign to blow your mind and set you free in places you didn't even know you were tied up.



Thank you Yahweh, for not causing these things to happen, but for allowing us to go through them because you saw we were mature enough to trust You in it, and we were ready to be taken to a new, larger place of freedom and peace and PURPOSE!!
Amen.

Monday, September 2, 2013

teaching me to walk

We are in a season of challenge and growth.

-A month or so ago, there was a storm that caused surges in the electricity near our house and blew out our oven and dishwasher and TV and baby monitors and sound machines and CD player and my hair clippers and trimmers and a few other things. A few things have been replaced but we've been without an oven and dishwasher for what seems like seven years now. (The TV was one in our bedroom and that's not the end of the world, so we're just probably not going to replace that).
I really miss baking and I'm growing very weary of sauteed meals, since only our stove top works.

-Kevin's car had issues and had to go into the shop.

-A lot of really hard family stuff has come up.

-Nora has been going through a wake-up-all-night phase.

-I bought a brand new pair of shoes and we lost them.

-We had saved up and worked hard to regain a very small savings that now all has to go to fixing the oven only. The rest we just need to wait on.

-In the last two weeks, I had hardly anybody scheduled on my books, obviously affecting my income.

-During a big rain, we woke up to water on the kitchen floor and a piece of our ceiling sheet rock hanging down, revealing spots of mold.

-Our drains started not draining. After Kevin crawling under the house and checking some things out, we found that we have to dig up and replace the main pipe of plumbing from our house out to the city street.

It seems the normal response is to give up and cry. To say SCREW THIS! and have an attitude of doubt and negativity and even a little "What the heck, God?!"
But what good does that do? What would the last 7 years of us walking with Holy Spirit have been for?
Praising the Father isn't just for when things are going well and everything's fun. Because I'm learning sometimes LIFE IS JUST HARD! The key is - how are we responding to it? Whose strength are we tapping into to get through it? Because we will get through it. Every hard thing that comes our way is a chance to respond right, Kevin and I to grow closer and stronger, and to press deeper into our spiritual maturity by knowing Yahweh deeper. And in that place, He teaches us what to do in these hard times.

A wise friend of mine described it like this and I just adore the analogy:
When you're teaching your baby to walk, you step back, hold your arms out and make her come to you.
Did you step away from her because you don't love her? Because you're leaving her out in the open so she can be harmed or in danger?
Of course not! You stepped back so that, as long as she keeps her eyes on you, she knows to press in and walk towards you. You take another step back and she takes another step towards you.

That's our relationship with Yahweh. He hasn't left us. He's not mad at us, nor are we being punished for doing something wrong. He's ready to take us deeper. So He's stepped back. And in that space from where we currently are to where we need to be by taking the step towards Him is painful because for that moment in time, we're not in His arms. We're with Him, and He's right there - but there's a gap between us for the purpose of learning. So it's our job to recognize that He's stepped back because He wants us to learn to walk in an even deeper revelation of Him, and to step forward. To be with Him.

And what's so, so sweet about this picture is that when you're baby takes several steps towards you, you decide to pick her up at the last step, however many steps it's been, and throw her in the air with happiness and rejoicing and there is kissing and clapping and great blessing because you are so proud of her for doing something hard and not giving up and trusting you.

I know our season of rejoicing is coming soon. And I know Yahweh is and will be proud of us for keeping our eyes on him and taking step after step.

Thank you for stepping back, Father.

Monday, September 23, 2013

wow - revelation

I have been wanting to get on here and share with whomever reads this, but also to keep a record of Yahweh's amazing ways.

I knew while we were in that hard season a little while back, that it was only an opportunity for us to respond right, and doing so would launch us further spiritually. And it most certainly has done just that.

One day, out of nowhere, I realized I had an outstanding amount of patience and love with Ruby and Nora. I had kept the house clean regularly, groceries were bought, and I was consistently happy. Then, I realized it had been going on for days...and I felt like "what the heck is happening?! Normally my responsibilities are swallowing me, I feel overwhelmed and somewhat defeated and pretty irritable when it all hits at once. But now? I'm LOVING every day. I see the mess in my house and car, but I really don't mind! It means we have little life around here that are learning and exploring and that's not only fine...that's WONDERFUL!" I had been struggling with feeling like the girls were in charge and I was their lowly servant, obeying their their every desire, but the tables had turned. I was lovingly in control, and it was working. I was firm, and they respected that and responded well to it. I have been loving every aspect of Motherhood.

I was feeling a little "uh...what the heck. This is too good to be true" (hate to admit that! but it was just so out-of-nowhere!) So when Kevin got home I walked outside by myself for a few minutes and started to pray and ask Yahweh what exactly this newness was. And He showed me almost immediately.

Blessing does not always look like money, although it's easy to think that way in our culture. It does not always mean stuff, or nothing ever going bad.
To us, the greatest blessings are the spiritual downloads to our character that change our lives forever.
To go from struggling in my flesh all the time to suddenly...not. To be given the love that exists way past little frustrations. To have the patience that spans further than any of my responsibilities. It's amazing! I can't explain how free I feel!

Yahweh showed me that the rough season was allowed so that we could qualify to enter into this place I'm in now. So that He could set me free in so many areas that I cried out to be changed in. It amazes me, His timing of things. We ask, and He listens, but He waits for the perfect timing to let us "get" it.

When you go through a hard, difficult, and very challenging time, and if you have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, then I hope you remember my story.
Know that you are being qualified for greatness.
Know that it is worth it.
Obedience ALWAYS brings blessing. Saying "I don't know what's happening, Father, but I trust you." gives Him full reign to blow your mind and set you free in places you didn't even know you were tied up.



Thank you Yahweh, for not causing these things to happen, but for allowing us to go through them because you saw we were mature enough to trust You in it, and we were ready to be taken to a new, larger place of freedom and peace and PURPOSE!!
Amen.

Monday, September 2, 2013

teaching me to walk

We are in a season of challenge and growth.

-A month or so ago, there was a storm that caused surges in the electricity near our house and blew out our oven and dishwasher and TV and baby monitors and sound machines and CD player and my hair clippers and trimmers and a few other things. A few things have been replaced but we've been without an oven and dishwasher for what seems like seven years now. (The TV was one in our bedroom and that's not the end of the world, so we're just probably not going to replace that).
I really miss baking and I'm growing very weary of sauteed meals, since only our stove top works.

-Kevin's car had issues and had to go into the shop.

-A lot of really hard family stuff has come up.

-Nora has been going through a wake-up-all-night phase.

-I bought a brand new pair of shoes and we lost them.

-We had saved up and worked hard to regain a very small savings that now all has to go to fixing the oven only. The rest we just need to wait on.

-In the last two weeks, I had hardly anybody scheduled on my books, obviously affecting my income.

-During a big rain, we woke up to water on the kitchen floor and a piece of our ceiling sheet rock hanging down, revealing spots of mold.

-Our drains started not draining. After Kevin crawling under the house and checking some things out, we found that we have to dig up and replace the main pipe of plumbing from our house out to the city street.

It seems the normal response is to give up and cry. To say SCREW THIS! and have an attitude of doubt and negativity and even a little "What the heck, God?!"
But what good does that do? What would the last 7 years of us walking with Holy Spirit have been for?
Praising the Father isn't just for when things are going well and everything's fun. Because I'm learning sometimes LIFE IS JUST HARD! The key is - how are we responding to it? Whose strength are we tapping into to get through it? Because we will get through it. Every hard thing that comes our way is a chance to respond right, Kevin and I to grow closer and stronger, and to press deeper into our spiritual maturity by knowing Yahweh deeper. And in that place, He teaches us what to do in these hard times.

A wise friend of mine described it like this and I just adore the analogy:
When you're teaching your baby to walk, you step back, hold your arms out and make her come to you.
Did you step away from her because you don't love her? Because you're leaving her out in the open so she can be harmed or in danger?
Of course not! You stepped back so that, as long as she keeps her eyes on you, she knows to press in and walk towards you. You take another step back and she takes another step towards you.

That's our relationship with Yahweh. He hasn't left us. He's not mad at us, nor are we being punished for doing something wrong. He's ready to take us deeper. So He's stepped back. And in that space from where we currently are to where we need to be by taking the step towards Him is painful because for that moment in time, we're not in His arms. We're with Him, and He's right there - but there's a gap between us for the purpose of learning. So it's our job to recognize that He's stepped back because He wants us to learn to walk in an even deeper revelation of Him, and to step forward. To be with Him.

And what's so, so sweet about this picture is that when you're baby takes several steps towards you, you decide to pick her up at the last step, however many steps it's been, and throw her in the air with happiness and rejoicing and there is kissing and clapping and great blessing because you are so proud of her for doing something hard and not giving up and trusting you.

I know our season of rejoicing is coming soon. And I know Yahweh is and will be proud of us for keeping our eyes on him and taking step after step.

Thank you for stepping back, Father.