Sunday, June 16, 2013

my love for you




I can't really describe how much, or how strongly, or even how at all, much I love you both.
Together and separately.
With me and away from me.
You being you has taught me and is teaching me so much.

I love you forever, Ruby.
I love you forever, Nora.

love, mom

Friday, June 14, 2013

on motherhood

Wow. Has life been full. That's my less-annoying term for "busy".
I have been wanting to write this down for some time now, and this morning, I left the girls with their sleepy daddy and snuck out to Starbucks to have a (free! bring in an empty bag of coffee) cup of coffee and just sit and write. Thankful for the opportunity.

Motherhood is officially the most challenging thing I've done so far.
And it's also the strangest - because it's at the same time my most favorite thing I've done so far.

How can it be that I want someone to go to sleep SO badly, and then when they do - I miss them?

How can it be that the person that pushes me to my wit's end with inquisitiveness and persistence - is the same person I would choose to hang out with above pretty much anyone else in the world?

I am sure that the answer to those questions is love.
I am sure that it's not just any love, it's a mother's love.

I have realized lately that women put WAY too many expectations on themselves. Because when we look around, we see image after image, on the internet, billboards, magazines, of absolutely perfect homes, flawless bodies, long flowing hair, beautifully dressed children. And we get the false idea of oh my gosh, that's what motherhood looks like. Or can look like. And we look around in our own life and start making changes out of stress and out of response to a falsehood that we are using as a standard to judge our own life. Suddenly, our children, our joy, turn into somewhat of a burden. They are totally in the way of me trying to clean my house. They are so annoying while I'm trying to make dinner. They are so needy, and I'm just trying to get dressed and ready.

Oh, how sad.
It's not them, it's not their fault - it's us. It's me.
They are being children. They ARE needy, because they can't do what I can do, so they need me. To teach them how. Or do it for them until they can.

I think about the seed I am sowing into them. Are they seeds of gentleness and kindness and reality of what is important? Or are they seeds of stress and frustration that things aren't going the picture-perfect way I'd like?
The fastest way to judge what type of seed you are sowing into your children is to look at the harvest in their lives. Are they short/frustrated? Are they selfish? Are they whiny? They are a product of their environment and their relationships and that reality is so very humbling. Sure, kids are kids, but that's the whole point of our job - to shape and mold them into being respectful, kind, giving human beings.

My sister said the best thing I've ever heard on motherhood, and parenting in general, yesterday on the phone. She said "it's supposed to be hard - it's the refining fire."
and I wanted to cry right there on the spot. Because I got it. It hit me - all of this, all the highs and lows, all the messy rooms, and piles of dirty laundry, and screaming babies and missed marks of perfection is how it's SUPPOSED TO BE! Because through all of that, in the middle of all of that, Christ is doing His perfect work.

That little line opened the floodgates for me. I now see motherhood completely different. It's not huge waves attacking and suffocating me, it's huge waves that I boldly swim into. That I choose to swim into because I know my Savior will not let me drown. Just think of the character He is building in you when you let go of control and line up with His will and His desire!
This is such a beautiful calling.
And I refuse to let this challenging and wonderful season be ruined by a false idea of what it should be and falling short and feeling disgruntled because of that. A challenge is a challenge because of what it produces in the end.

So that's it-
It's supposed to be hard.
Let go and embrace and enjoy the process of Him changing you.

I know my family is going to love reaping the benefits of this revelation - a much happier Momma! :)

Monday, June 10, 2013

nora 10 months


Not havin' it this month.
I think she's getting tired of this. Once or twice was fine, mother, but this is getting ridiculous.



Nora is absolutely, completely, and wholly lovable. I love holding her (as tiring as it can be!) I love snuggling her, I love nursing her, I love watching her, I love dressing her, I love everything about her.


She has a very strong personality that LETS YOU KNOW when she needs something/isn't liking the current situation.
But on the other side of that strong personality is, again, the lovableness that oozes from her being.


-Has two bottom teeth and the top two are popping out now!
-Will sleep through the night every now and then but mostly wakes up to nurse at least once. She'd probably cry herself back to sleep but I feel bad for Ruby, so I go in and nurse her.
-Size 4 diapers.
-All over the map with clothes sizes
-LAUGHS. Like belly, gut, chuckle, hilarious laughter
-very allergic to nuts and some plant that came out in May. We found that out the hard way:(


-loves to eat sand
-is hooked on me, and when it's not me, it's Gramala. She wants to be held and know what's going on.
-is definitely a self-feeder, does not like to be spoon fed
-loves to be tickled, and chased
-standing on her own!!!!!!!! She'll be walking soon and that is just amazing to us.


-I think she is down right beautiful.
-watch your big toe around her, because she'll curiously bite it. You'll hop and say OH! and she'll start laughing.
-I'm going to spend the rest of my life searching for the formula to make my hair the same color as hers because it's the perfect shade of blonde.
-says "oat!" loudly, a lot. And her voice seems deeper than Ruby's.

see? this is today (I'm still in splash park attire)



She is awake so I must wrap this up.
We are your biggest fans, Piper.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

my love for you




I can't really describe how much, or how strongly, or even how at all, much I love you both.
Together and separately.
With me and away from me.
You being you has taught me and is teaching me so much.

I love you forever, Ruby.
I love you forever, Nora.

love, mom

Friday, June 14, 2013

on motherhood

Wow. Has life been full. That's my less-annoying term for "busy".
I have been wanting to write this down for some time now, and this morning, I left the girls with their sleepy daddy and snuck out to Starbucks to have a (free! bring in an empty bag of coffee) cup of coffee and just sit and write. Thankful for the opportunity.

Motherhood is officially the most challenging thing I've done so far.
And it's also the strangest - because it's at the same time my most favorite thing I've done so far.

How can it be that I want someone to go to sleep SO badly, and then when they do - I miss them?

How can it be that the person that pushes me to my wit's end with inquisitiveness and persistence - is the same person I would choose to hang out with above pretty much anyone else in the world?

I am sure that the answer to those questions is love.
I am sure that it's not just any love, it's a mother's love.

I have realized lately that women put WAY too many expectations on themselves. Because when we look around, we see image after image, on the internet, billboards, magazines, of absolutely perfect homes, flawless bodies, long flowing hair, beautifully dressed children. And we get the false idea of oh my gosh, that's what motherhood looks like. Or can look like. And we look around in our own life and start making changes out of stress and out of response to a falsehood that we are using as a standard to judge our own life. Suddenly, our children, our joy, turn into somewhat of a burden. They are totally in the way of me trying to clean my house. They are so annoying while I'm trying to make dinner. They are so needy, and I'm just trying to get dressed and ready.

Oh, how sad.
It's not them, it's not their fault - it's us. It's me.
They are being children. They ARE needy, because they can't do what I can do, so they need me. To teach them how. Or do it for them until they can.

I think about the seed I am sowing into them. Are they seeds of gentleness and kindness and reality of what is important? Or are they seeds of stress and frustration that things aren't going the picture-perfect way I'd like?
The fastest way to judge what type of seed you are sowing into your children is to look at the harvest in their lives. Are they short/frustrated? Are they selfish? Are they whiny? They are a product of their environment and their relationships and that reality is so very humbling. Sure, kids are kids, but that's the whole point of our job - to shape and mold them into being respectful, kind, giving human beings.

My sister said the best thing I've ever heard on motherhood, and parenting in general, yesterday on the phone. She said "it's supposed to be hard - it's the refining fire."
and I wanted to cry right there on the spot. Because I got it. It hit me - all of this, all the highs and lows, all the messy rooms, and piles of dirty laundry, and screaming babies and missed marks of perfection is how it's SUPPOSED TO BE! Because through all of that, in the middle of all of that, Christ is doing His perfect work.

That little line opened the floodgates for me. I now see motherhood completely different. It's not huge waves attacking and suffocating me, it's huge waves that I boldly swim into. That I choose to swim into because I know my Savior will not let me drown. Just think of the character He is building in you when you let go of control and line up with His will and His desire!
This is such a beautiful calling.
And I refuse to let this challenging and wonderful season be ruined by a false idea of what it should be and falling short and feeling disgruntled because of that. A challenge is a challenge because of what it produces in the end.

So that's it-
It's supposed to be hard.
Let go and embrace and enjoy the process of Him changing you.

I know my family is going to love reaping the benefits of this revelation - a much happier Momma! :)

Monday, June 10, 2013

nora 10 months


Not havin' it this month.
I think she's getting tired of this. Once or twice was fine, mother, but this is getting ridiculous.



Nora is absolutely, completely, and wholly lovable. I love holding her (as tiring as it can be!) I love snuggling her, I love nursing her, I love watching her, I love dressing her, I love everything about her.


She has a very strong personality that LETS YOU KNOW when she needs something/isn't liking the current situation.
But on the other side of that strong personality is, again, the lovableness that oozes from her being.


-Has two bottom teeth and the top two are popping out now!
-Will sleep through the night every now and then but mostly wakes up to nurse at least once. She'd probably cry herself back to sleep but I feel bad for Ruby, so I go in and nurse her.
-Size 4 diapers.
-All over the map with clothes sizes
-LAUGHS. Like belly, gut, chuckle, hilarious laughter
-very allergic to nuts and some plant that came out in May. We found that out the hard way:(


-loves to eat sand
-is hooked on me, and when it's not me, it's Gramala. She wants to be held and know what's going on.
-is definitely a self-feeder, does not like to be spoon fed
-loves to be tickled, and chased
-standing on her own!!!!!!!! She'll be walking soon and that is just amazing to us.


-I think she is down right beautiful.
-watch your big toe around her, because she'll curiously bite it. You'll hop and say OH! and she'll start laughing.
-I'm going to spend the rest of my life searching for the formula to make my hair the same color as hers because it's the perfect shade of blonde.
-says "oat!" loudly, a lot. And her voice seems deeper than Ruby's.

see? this is today (I'm still in splash park attire)



She is awake so I must wrap this up.
We are your biggest fans, Piper.