Friday, January 25, 2013

the question that stopped me in my tracks


While washing out my client, Ruby came into the salon and was watching for a bit. I said 
"Ruby, do you want to be a hairstylist when you grow up?"
"um, yeah"
"ok baby, I'll teach you everything I know".

She paused, and asked
"mommy? will you please teach me to be a mommy?"

Oh honey, I absolutely will.
I have the greatest job on earth.




Monday, January 21, 2013

responding right to rough days

last week. yep. soak it in. 

Upon getting pregnant, one does not know a fraction of the amount that their life is going to change.
Having children changes everything.
I have so much to learn, but I am learning.

I woke up today, with the house somewhat clean (thanks to my man who cleaned the house while I was at a dentist appt!).
The very second I awake, or am awakened by Ruby, rather, I have to be ON. No slow, gentle rising. No easing into motherhood. It's sudden and I do not like it. To remedy this, I'm working on waking up an hour before Ruby so that I can have my mind wrapped around some things and be fully awake and ready to take on the day by the time she wakes up. It seems, however, that when I do this, Ruby wakes up an hour early that same day as well. Ruby!!!!

So this morning, boom, Ruby is in bed with me and almost crushing Nora.
"Ruby! Babe, be careful. She's a baby, you can't do that"
Nora needs a diaper change. Crawl out of the warm bed onto the cold hardwood floor to go get one.
"Mom I want some mmm. I want some mmmm. I want ganola. I want bwead"
I'm thinking I want coffee.
Sweet Kev has already made some and it's sitting waiting for me. Unfortunately we have a chincy coffee pot and it burns coffee quick if it sits on there more than a minute. So I make another cup or so.
Check the laundry room and roll my eyes and cusswords that haven't even been invented yet start flying through my head when I see the work that's ahead of me. I start a load and empty the dryer and carry the clean clothes basket into the living room to be folded.
Oh gosh, Nora could roll off the bed. Back to her. Change her diaper.
I bring homemade jello squares (awesome breakfast for your growing toddler, Jess) and coffee to bed and read the girls our library books.
I remember Ruby wet herself last night in church (stood up while potty is rolling down her pants and says "I have to go potty!". Little late babe:) ) and needs a bath from that.
I need a shower, too.
We prop Nora up in the Bumbo and hop in the shower.
Nora is crying and needs to go down for a nap.
I do that and Ruby insists on helping. I'm mouth-yelling to make no noise for my nursing babe I'm trying to get to sleep, but need to get my point across.
With huge facial expressions I mouth "Ruby, no! *point to the door* I'm laying Nora down, you may not be in here. Go out and I'll play with you in a minute"
And, being my little mirror image. She does the exact thing back.
Wide eyed and mouthing "Mommy! I help Nora. I wanna snuggle wiss her" and her body language makes me laugh out loud. So I lose control and authority and Ruby knows she's "in" because tough Momma just broke and is now laughing at how darn cute I am.

The morning was busier and more hectic but I'm leaving details out like trying to respond to all my clients and their booking needs.

The girls are both asleep now as I type this and it makes me realize this.

The hard times only last for a time. Nothing is permanent.
I know for me personally the enemy loves to get in my mind during these challenging times and try to make me pity myself. And tell myself how hard this is, that I'm never on top or in control anymore.

And actually, yep, that's true. Not the pitying myself, that's useless. I have no reason to be pitied! But the whole never-on-top, not-in-control thing. The house sometimes looks like that picture above. Honestly and thankfully not very often, but it does sometimes. I am sloooooowly learning to find joy when things are not going the way I think they should go. Can I still be a present, calm, and happy mom even if/when the house gets out of control and schedules are off and what I thought the day would look like has flown out the window? Or will it turn me into a witch that I don't ever want my family seeing?

Honestly, as of right now, it's more the latter. But I really am learning. And days like today are helping me. Because the day started off feeling so overwhelming and I wanted to give up and yell and just say THERE IS TOO MUCH TO DO AND TOO MANY PEOPLE NEED ME. I can't do it!

So, I gathered all my emotions, put them in order, and chose what I know to be true: I chose to bring it to my covering. I prayed. I said "Yahweh, I need you. I declare this day is Your day that I get to be a part of, and I will do my part to be in your flow. My life is yours. Help me. Help me be whatever I need to be today" and I kept speaking and the weight of the world slowly lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly, I didn't care what I got done. I just cared about being with Him all day. In His presence. That couple hours of imperfection was finally revealed to me for what it really was: a couple hours. Compared to a lifetime.

This happened in my laundry room while Nora napped and Ruby watched a movie. I went in the living room with her and had a renewed sense of patience, gentleness, and kindness.
I'll get done whatever Yahweh wants me to get done. I retold myself.

And the cool part is? I got everything done that I wanted!
All laundry is done, floor swept and mopped. Lunch made. Girls napping quietly in bed while I write this in a clean house.
And when they wake up we get to play and possibly go for a walk.

I love learning these lessons. Sometimes it's a slow and painful process, but the results are incredible.
Learning to be in Your flow, Yahweh, is priceless.



Friday, January 11, 2013

ruby's artwork


I know every mother loves her children's art, but I am particularly fascinated with Ruby's drawings.

The characters she draws just amaze me for her age!



Every night and every nap, she insists that we not only tell her a story, but draw it out on a piece of paper as we tell it. As we make up our story and draw our sorry little characters (we are so not artists!) she is studying us. Our facial expressions, the pen gliding across the paper. She is a little sponge. So this is her take on drawing - and I love it.

Monday, January 7, 2013


Every now and then, I will stop in my tracks and catch my family doing a regular thing that takes my breath away.

Like Kevin kneading sourdough in the kitchen, setting up a place and a small dough ball for Ruby to join him, and little Nora watching from the bean bag at their feet.

I am thankful for how often I get reminded how sweet my life really is.

nora 5 months

Nora honey, you are

 preciously captivating,

fervently feisty,


and ornery as can be.

We've dubbed you "party girl Pearl" because we can tell you just like to have a good time.
You love being scared. Like if out of nowhere someone just claps loud and yells BOOM! You give a big side grin which leads to a laugh. Like a "good one, guys" kind of laugh.

You remind me of a teenager. I know that sounds weird but you make me think you "get" things already.

You are in the death-grip stage. I remember this with Ruby. It hurts so, so bad. My hair is constantly ripped out by those clammy little ninja hands. And I am clawed at with your razor fingernails often. When you get frustrated is when it's really bad. Oh, the love of a mother!

You seem to be teething, and I have a lot of patience for that because I can only imagine how bad that hurts.

You are sitting up! Falling over, of course, but sitting up!

You want food like you want your next breath. The way you stare at us eating is heart breaking. It's a month away, babe, you can do it!

Still sleep in bed with us, which I plan to switch you over soon. It's just so rough, a baby and a toddler sharing a room. Sweet Ruby is so patient. But you are such a light sleeper. You've taken lots of naps in there and you don't sleep a fraction as good as you do when you nap in our bed. Probably familiarity? But oh well, we'll see. 

You take a nap about an hour after you wake up in the mornings. That nap is usually an hour long. Then another longer nap in the afternoon. Then sometimes an evening nap for about an hour. I'm still trying to figure your schedule out. (sorry)

Still adore your sister. And she ADORES you.

clothes: 6-9 months (some larger, depending on what item)
diapers: size 3 (have been for a while now)


Friday, January 25, 2013

the question that stopped me in my tracks


While washing out my client, Ruby came into the salon and was watching for a bit. I said 
"Ruby, do you want to be a hairstylist when you grow up?"
"um, yeah"
"ok baby, I'll teach you everything I know".

She paused, and asked
"mommy? will you please teach me to be a mommy?"

Oh honey, I absolutely will.
I have the greatest job on earth.




Monday, January 21, 2013

responding right to rough days

last week. yep. soak it in. 

Upon getting pregnant, one does not know a fraction of the amount that their life is going to change.
Having children changes everything.
I have so much to learn, but I am learning.

I woke up today, with the house somewhat clean (thanks to my man who cleaned the house while I was at a dentist appt!).
The very second I awake, or am awakened by Ruby, rather, I have to be ON. No slow, gentle rising. No easing into motherhood. It's sudden and I do not like it. To remedy this, I'm working on waking up an hour before Ruby so that I can have my mind wrapped around some things and be fully awake and ready to take on the day by the time she wakes up. It seems, however, that when I do this, Ruby wakes up an hour early that same day as well. Ruby!!!!

So this morning, boom, Ruby is in bed with me and almost crushing Nora.
"Ruby! Babe, be careful. She's a baby, you can't do that"
Nora needs a diaper change. Crawl out of the warm bed onto the cold hardwood floor to go get one.
"Mom I want some mmm. I want some mmmm. I want ganola. I want bwead"
I'm thinking I want coffee.
Sweet Kev has already made some and it's sitting waiting for me. Unfortunately we have a chincy coffee pot and it burns coffee quick if it sits on there more than a minute. So I make another cup or so.
Check the laundry room and roll my eyes and cusswords that haven't even been invented yet start flying through my head when I see the work that's ahead of me. I start a load and empty the dryer and carry the clean clothes basket into the living room to be folded.
Oh gosh, Nora could roll off the bed. Back to her. Change her diaper.
I bring homemade jello squares (awesome breakfast for your growing toddler, Jess) and coffee to bed and read the girls our library books.
I remember Ruby wet herself last night in church (stood up while potty is rolling down her pants and says "I have to go potty!". Little late babe:) ) and needs a bath from that.
I need a shower, too.
We prop Nora up in the Bumbo and hop in the shower.
Nora is crying and needs to go down for a nap.
I do that and Ruby insists on helping. I'm mouth-yelling to make no noise for my nursing babe I'm trying to get to sleep, but need to get my point across.
With huge facial expressions I mouth "Ruby, no! *point to the door* I'm laying Nora down, you may not be in here. Go out and I'll play with you in a minute"
And, being my little mirror image. She does the exact thing back.
Wide eyed and mouthing "Mommy! I help Nora. I wanna snuggle wiss her" and her body language makes me laugh out loud. So I lose control and authority and Ruby knows she's "in" because tough Momma just broke and is now laughing at how darn cute I am.

The morning was busier and more hectic but I'm leaving details out like trying to respond to all my clients and their booking needs.

The girls are both asleep now as I type this and it makes me realize this.

The hard times only last for a time. Nothing is permanent.
I know for me personally the enemy loves to get in my mind during these challenging times and try to make me pity myself. And tell myself how hard this is, that I'm never on top or in control anymore.

And actually, yep, that's true. Not the pitying myself, that's useless. I have no reason to be pitied! But the whole never-on-top, not-in-control thing. The house sometimes looks like that picture above. Honestly and thankfully not very often, but it does sometimes. I am sloooooowly learning to find joy when things are not going the way I think they should go. Can I still be a present, calm, and happy mom even if/when the house gets out of control and schedules are off and what I thought the day would look like has flown out the window? Or will it turn me into a witch that I don't ever want my family seeing?

Honestly, as of right now, it's more the latter. But I really am learning. And days like today are helping me. Because the day started off feeling so overwhelming and I wanted to give up and yell and just say THERE IS TOO MUCH TO DO AND TOO MANY PEOPLE NEED ME. I can't do it!

So, I gathered all my emotions, put them in order, and chose what I know to be true: I chose to bring it to my covering. I prayed. I said "Yahweh, I need you. I declare this day is Your day that I get to be a part of, and I will do my part to be in your flow. My life is yours. Help me. Help me be whatever I need to be today" and I kept speaking and the weight of the world slowly lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly, I didn't care what I got done. I just cared about being with Him all day. In His presence. That couple hours of imperfection was finally revealed to me for what it really was: a couple hours. Compared to a lifetime.

This happened in my laundry room while Nora napped and Ruby watched a movie. I went in the living room with her and had a renewed sense of patience, gentleness, and kindness.
I'll get done whatever Yahweh wants me to get done. I retold myself.

And the cool part is? I got everything done that I wanted!
All laundry is done, floor swept and mopped. Lunch made. Girls napping quietly in bed while I write this in a clean house.
And when they wake up we get to play and possibly go for a walk.

I love learning these lessons. Sometimes it's a slow and painful process, but the results are incredible.
Learning to be in Your flow, Yahweh, is priceless.



Friday, January 11, 2013

ruby's artwork


I know every mother loves her children's art, but I am particularly fascinated with Ruby's drawings.

The characters she draws just amaze me for her age!



Every night and every nap, she insists that we not only tell her a story, but draw it out on a piece of paper as we tell it. As we make up our story and draw our sorry little characters (we are so not artists!) she is studying us. Our facial expressions, the pen gliding across the paper. She is a little sponge. So this is her take on drawing - and I love it.

Monday, January 7, 2013


Every now and then, I will stop in my tracks and catch my family doing a regular thing that takes my breath away.

Like Kevin kneading sourdough in the kitchen, setting up a place and a small dough ball for Ruby to join him, and little Nora watching from the bean bag at their feet.

I am thankful for how often I get reminded how sweet my life really is.

nora 5 months

Nora honey, you are

 preciously captivating,

fervently feisty,


and ornery as can be.

We've dubbed you "party girl Pearl" because we can tell you just like to have a good time.
You love being scared. Like if out of nowhere someone just claps loud and yells BOOM! You give a big side grin which leads to a laugh. Like a "good one, guys" kind of laugh.

You remind me of a teenager. I know that sounds weird but you make me think you "get" things already.

You are in the death-grip stage. I remember this with Ruby. It hurts so, so bad. My hair is constantly ripped out by those clammy little ninja hands. And I am clawed at with your razor fingernails often. When you get frustrated is when it's really bad. Oh, the love of a mother!

You seem to be teething, and I have a lot of patience for that because I can only imagine how bad that hurts.

You are sitting up! Falling over, of course, but sitting up!

You want food like you want your next breath. The way you stare at us eating is heart breaking. It's a month away, babe, you can do it!

Still sleep in bed with us, which I plan to switch you over soon. It's just so rough, a baby and a toddler sharing a room. Sweet Ruby is so patient. But you are such a light sleeper. You've taken lots of naps in there and you don't sleep a fraction as good as you do when you nap in our bed. Probably familiarity? But oh well, we'll see. 

You take a nap about an hour after you wake up in the mornings. That nap is usually an hour long. Then another longer nap in the afternoon. Then sometimes an evening nap for about an hour. I'm still trying to figure your schedule out. (sorry)

Still adore your sister. And she ADORES you.

clothes: 6-9 months (some larger, depending on what item)
diapers: size 3 (have been for a while now)