At our last prenatal appointment (27 weeks) Ruby just crawled right up on the table in front of our midwife and soaked her in. Everything she did, Ruby wanted to watch and learn. It was so precious.
Precious because E didn't mind a single bit. She didn't get huffy and frustrated because she was rushed for time and annoyed with my sweet and curious toddler. She let her hold the baby doll she brings for demonstrations. She let Ruby listen to the baby's heartbeat. It was just so special to me.
I was so thankful.
At one point during the appointment, I almost started crying because of the raw emotions I feel towards childbirth.
Trust me, I am not super mom.
I get frustrated with Ruby's toddler-ness sometimes.
I get tired and short tempered.
But really...my greatest and deepest passions are my family and motherhood.
Getting to birth my children is literally the greatest badge of honor I could ever ask for or desire.
There's just nothing like it.
I told her "I really, really don't want to rip. I ripped so badly with Ruby and it was a very painful and a looong recovery"...
She went into detail and showed me positions and explained that 9 times out of 10 ripping is due to pushing way too hard, too fast. She said we're going to do it at my pace, and the baby's pace. Me and my baby girl will work together to get her out, one contraction at a time. Not PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!!!!
And when she was showing me positions and explaining that birth can be so very different than what I've experienced so far is when I felt my dry, tired eyes start to moisten and tears start to pool up and I quickly looked away and dried it up and gathered myself (because...embarassing to cry at a prenatal appointment over happiness...)
because I just wanted to hug her and say thank you.
Thank you for caring about me, and my baby, and the process of birth so much.
Thank you for teaching me.
All is well in pregnancy world.
I'm 28 weeks this Thursday.
I am more tired than ever...soooo looking forward to laying on the beach.
Did I tell you that we're staying with our friends, in Florida, for free? And that Kevin's boss just wanted to bless us and is paying for our gas? Did I tell you that Yahweh is so amazing and provides in ways you couldn't even think up on your own?!
I'm telling ya...it's a good, good life.