Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I am often torn about how much, how deep, and how real I can get on my blog.
Because, really, it's a place where I can write what is on my heart and you are visiting my spot.
And then I worry about who will read this, or who will get offended...but then. I stop.
Because I would never read someone else's blog and get offended by what they say.
Because hello! That's their opinion on their blog! It's their story. It's their memory. It's their thoughts.
I can't argue that someone's thoughts are wrong. They're theirs!

So, here's what's been on my heart lately.
And sadly...very few of you will be able to relate, I imagine, but that's ok. It's my story.

For our next child, we will do a home birth.

I have done the research, I have spoken with midwives, and personally know many women who have had (and adore) their home births. The moment we got home from the hospital with Ruby I felt like "ok...that was fine. But I want a home birth next time"

Kevin couldn't be more on board with it. It's really a word of the Lord to us. Yahweh told us to with Ruby but I was too scared and let fear muffle the voice of God in my life. I wasn't "sure" if that's what He was telling me so I brushed it off for 9 months. And as soon as she was born...I was sure.
{Now, I don't necessarily think that everyone should have a home birth (certainly not high risk pregnancies) but for me and my family...we know this is right. }

I may write more about it once I am actually pregnant and closer to birthing that child, but for now, the point of my story is this.

I feel like I am all alone in many of my beliefs.
I feel like there just aren't a lot of people out there that *click* with me as far as the whole home birth/cloth diapering/all natural as much as possible thing go.
Don't get me wrong...in fact the Lord just showed me as I'm typing this...I do have a small handful of women from church that believe closely to what I do (like...two of them).
But I mean the general population of where I live in this wealthy, everywhere-I-look-I-keep-seeing-the-same-thing area is just so dead-end feeling when you bring up topics like that. Everyone thinks unless it's what everyone else is doing it's flat out wrong.

I suppose that's most cultures. People get comfortable with the "norm" and that's just what becomes acceptable. Surely, if I was a C-section by choice advocate living in Portland, Oregan I'd be writing a post just like this, except on the opposite side.

I have to realize that Jesus was hardly popular at many points of His ministry. I mean, people crucified Him for who He said He was, and for His beliefs. So I'm in good company as far as people thinking I'm weird for my spiritual beliefs and my lifestyle beliefs. They all thought He was blasphemous and crazy. Especially when He said "eat my flesh and drink my blood..." to a crowd.

I can't tell you how many religious people get mad at the stuff I say, I have no idea why.
I can't tell you how many head shakes and "you're crazy" faces and talks I get when I say we will homeschool our children. That I want a home birth. That I won't give my toddler dyed foods full of sugar even though everyone else is eating them and there is a popular television character on the box. That Ruby still nurses and she's a year and a half.

So ultimately, what it boils down to is pleasing God or pleasing man. I know how to work a group, I know what people want to hear, what women want to talk about. I know easier is always going to be more popular. I know people find comfort in fitting in. But if my calling happens to make me different from my surroundings, well then, that's fine. It's certainly not always fun, I can tell you that. But the point is that I have to know who I am in Christ and what my beliefs are. On a deserted island, or smack dab in the middle of town surrounded by people. I can't be shaken by my surroundings. And believe in this when I'm around this group, and that when I'm around that group. I just have to be steady on, know the truth for myself and my family, and be willing to be the weird one of the group every so often.

*sigh*
Felt good to get that out.
Thanks for listening.
Even if you think I'm weird:)

9 comments:

Jenny Galloway said...

I don't think you're weird and I couldn't agree more. I understand in the sense that you do what is right for your family and no not everyone will agree. Devin and I have faced much disapproval and adversity when it comes to us deciding to lay down our lives for ministry. You are right though, at the end of the day who are you living for? Are you going to forsake favor with God for the "favor of man"? Never, and He will provide. He will provide the people of like mind and heart to help with your purpose. What you have in your heart is a word from the source Himself and you are the light to carry it out. Just like Jesus in the world. Visionaries are usually the crazy guys that no one jives with in the beginning. I understand your heart and I understand the struggle. Glad and encouraged to hear how you stand strong through it! It encourages me in the same. :)

Meghan said...

Jessica,
You said it exactly right. We are here to please the Lord and nothing else. If you want to have a home birth-that's awesome. If you want to cloth diaper-go for it! If you want to nurse Ruby until she is 4 years old-who's to stop you? The harsh reality is that some have such strong opinions that they turn them into facts they believe. Some do not stop to think that your life is...your life! If you are raising Ruby up (and any other kiddos that come along to the Kiehns) in Christ and teaching what the most important aspect of our existence is-then who's to worry? There will always be those who do not agree with you. Who think cloth diapering is gross. That homeschooling is ridiculous. That nursing your child is gross. But hold strong-do what is right for you and your family while honoring God! Just want to encourage you-there are many mommas out there who have the same ideals as you. You aren't alone-although, sometimes it may feel that way. Keep pressing toward the mark. Nurse your baby. Have a natural home birth...don't give your kiddos dyed foods! It's your choice!

Brittany said...

Um, AMEN SISTER!!!!!!!!! I feel my last to births were so crazy and out of my control because I didn't do a home birth....like I wanted and felt God did too. I was more concerned with the fact that my insurance didn't cover it, so I'd just go as much natural at the hospital as I could. And of course the last to deliveries required me to have MORE interventions than I ever dreamed! I really believe the Lord said, "Okay, you chose this route...and here's what it will come with."
Good for you for listening to the Lord's calling and not fearing man's opinion!

Haley Galloway said...

I love to read REAL posts.
It's amazing-because you are testament. That when you completely surrender yourself to God and his purpose for your life, that he will bring you the most enjoyment out of this life. We aren't really meant to live a comfortable life-I've started to realize that more and more. If you are who God wants you to be, it's often a challenging life and you can forget about the easy route to things.


I've been praying a lot about a natural birth this time around. I've really had a lot laid upon my heart the past year. I failed miserably at a lot of things that unfortunately, I could have succeeded at if I would have allowed God to be my strength in it all. I love how God has shown me that he designed me specifically the way he did because he knew I could birth and nourish my children better than anyone or anything ever could.

I can completely relate to this post in so many ways, so thanks for sharing your heart!

WendyPierce said...

So, funny thing - I have a blog all typed up and ready to go about how I'm feeling pressured by the culture around here (and pretty much all by Christians) to homeschool, and eat organic, and use clothe diapers - and about how I'm tired of being pushed around by the "Christian Culture" :) I've been so wimpy to post it though. For the same reasons you didn't want to post this. I'm also in the middle of a post about Steel Magnolias! Saw you quoted that as well. Great minds think alike....or at least along opposite sides of the track in this case. Good on ya for doing what works for you though. I'm all for that!

annie said...

Girl. You are the momma- and you make the final decision- with the good Lords guidance of course! FOR ME, I like the hospital, but for you, if home birth works, then by all means GO FOR IT! And More power to you! As for the cloth diapers, I would have LOVED to do cloth, but it wasn't an option at E's school...so pampers it is. But- I knowyou'll stand your ground. I know you'll go "against the grain" if its something you feel strongly about...and I, as well as MANY others, will support you! Not that you care about that...but I just wanted to confirm that I don't think your bonkers! ;)

Leslie Shelton said...

I can't remember what post of yours I was reading a while ago, and for real - in my spirit I thought to myself "she is going to deliver at home next time"! I agree with your thoughts, and I've told you before as an older woman observing a younger woman...you are so wise! The world, especially the western world, has just continued to make the "unnatural" the norm. How did "natural" become odd? How did processed, "edible" products become "food." I think that more often than not, most people have a "to each his own" attitude, or they love and support you no matter what, or they appreciate the differences in others! Or all of the above! Looking forward to watching that next chapter unfold when the time is right!

Rebecca said...

Well you KNOW i am ALL for everything you just said! And you KNOW I absolutely LOVED my homebirth but just like these women said, it's YOUR (and Kevin's decision) why should we let what "they" (whoever "they" are) say so deeply effect what WE decide is best for our family, or to second guess what has already been decided. Only you and Kevin can decide what is right for you (and clearly you already have) and stand FIRM to that word (as you already do and will continue to do)

Regardless of how many women see eye to eye with what you believe, you still have A TON of women who will support you in YOUR decision! We are all here for you, so go on with ya "good" (instead of bad) self! :)

Bethany said...

Although I had my daughter at the hospital, I had a completly drug free birth and a doula by my side. I didn't even go to the hospital until I was basically ready to push and at 9cm. I would say at least 95% of people thought I was crazy because I did not want drugs and I wanted to be in control of my labor and the birth of my child. I prayed everyday while I was pregnant for God to give my body the strength to do what he created it to do. And by His grace, he did! My doula was AMAZING and helped me not only at home before going to the hospital, but kept me informed every step of the way at what the doctors and nurses were trying to do at the hospital. I took classes that supported natural child birth, learned my rights, and felt very confident going in. I refused to be hooked up to an IV and I even refused to push with my feet in stirrups (they thought I was crazy and tried to talk me out of it). I ended up pushing and delivering while on my side. Although I didn't have a home birth, I do support them as well. If you ever want to talk, I love sharing my experience!!! I can honestly say it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life! God totally took over and I have never felt such calmness, confidence, and peace!!! You will not regret this decision. Obviously, you always have to be prepared and willing to change things if need be. I am always excited to hear other people who believe in this! Seriously people, why are we the crazy ones???? God made us to deliver babies, and I am pretty sure he didn't have drugs in mind at the time :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I am often torn about how much, how deep, and how real I can get on my blog.
Because, really, it's a place where I can write what is on my heart and you are visiting my spot.
And then I worry about who will read this, or who will get offended...but then. I stop.
Because I would never read someone else's blog and get offended by what they say.
Because hello! That's their opinion on their blog! It's their story. It's their memory. It's their thoughts.
I can't argue that someone's thoughts are wrong. They're theirs!

So, here's what's been on my heart lately.
And sadly...very few of you will be able to relate, I imagine, but that's ok. It's my story.

For our next child, we will do a home birth.

I have done the research, I have spoken with midwives, and personally know many women who have had (and adore) their home births. The moment we got home from the hospital with Ruby I felt like "ok...that was fine. But I want a home birth next time"

Kevin couldn't be more on board with it. It's really a word of the Lord to us. Yahweh told us to with Ruby but I was too scared and let fear muffle the voice of God in my life. I wasn't "sure" if that's what He was telling me so I brushed it off for 9 months. And as soon as she was born...I was sure.
{Now, I don't necessarily think that everyone should have a home birth (certainly not high risk pregnancies) but for me and my family...we know this is right. }

I may write more about it once I am actually pregnant and closer to birthing that child, but for now, the point of my story is this.

I feel like I am all alone in many of my beliefs.
I feel like there just aren't a lot of people out there that *click* with me as far as the whole home birth/cloth diapering/all natural as much as possible thing go.
Don't get me wrong...in fact the Lord just showed me as I'm typing this...I do have a small handful of women from church that believe closely to what I do (like...two of them).
But I mean the general population of where I live in this wealthy, everywhere-I-look-I-keep-seeing-the-same-thing area is just so dead-end feeling when you bring up topics like that. Everyone thinks unless it's what everyone else is doing it's flat out wrong.

I suppose that's most cultures. People get comfortable with the "norm" and that's just what becomes acceptable. Surely, if I was a C-section by choice advocate living in Portland, Oregan I'd be writing a post just like this, except on the opposite side.

I have to realize that Jesus was hardly popular at many points of His ministry. I mean, people crucified Him for who He said He was, and for His beliefs. So I'm in good company as far as people thinking I'm weird for my spiritual beliefs and my lifestyle beliefs. They all thought He was blasphemous and crazy. Especially when He said "eat my flesh and drink my blood..." to a crowd.

I can't tell you how many religious people get mad at the stuff I say, I have no idea why.
I can't tell you how many head shakes and "you're crazy" faces and talks I get when I say we will homeschool our children. That I want a home birth. That I won't give my toddler dyed foods full of sugar even though everyone else is eating them and there is a popular television character on the box. That Ruby still nurses and she's a year and a half.

So ultimately, what it boils down to is pleasing God or pleasing man. I know how to work a group, I know what people want to hear, what women want to talk about. I know easier is always going to be more popular. I know people find comfort in fitting in. But if my calling happens to make me different from my surroundings, well then, that's fine. It's certainly not always fun, I can tell you that. But the point is that I have to know who I am in Christ and what my beliefs are. On a deserted island, or smack dab in the middle of town surrounded by people. I can't be shaken by my surroundings. And believe in this when I'm around this group, and that when I'm around that group. I just have to be steady on, know the truth for myself and my family, and be willing to be the weird one of the group every so often.

*sigh*
Felt good to get that out.
Thanks for listening.
Even if you think I'm weird:)

9 comments:

Jenny Galloway said...

I don't think you're weird and I couldn't agree more. I understand in the sense that you do what is right for your family and no not everyone will agree. Devin and I have faced much disapproval and adversity when it comes to us deciding to lay down our lives for ministry. You are right though, at the end of the day who are you living for? Are you going to forsake favor with God for the "favor of man"? Never, and He will provide. He will provide the people of like mind and heart to help with your purpose. What you have in your heart is a word from the source Himself and you are the light to carry it out. Just like Jesus in the world. Visionaries are usually the crazy guys that no one jives with in the beginning. I understand your heart and I understand the struggle. Glad and encouraged to hear how you stand strong through it! It encourages me in the same. :)

Meghan said...

Jessica,
You said it exactly right. We are here to please the Lord and nothing else. If you want to have a home birth-that's awesome. If you want to cloth diaper-go for it! If you want to nurse Ruby until she is 4 years old-who's to stop you? The harsh reality is that some have such strong opinions that they turn them into facts they believe. Some do not stop to think that your life is...your life! If you are raising Ruby up (and any other kiddos that come along to the Kiehns) in Christ and teaching what the most important aspect of our existence is-then who's to worry? There will always be those who do not agree with you. Who think cloth diapering is gross. That homeschooling is ridiculous. That nursing your child is gross. But hold strong-do what is right for you and your family while honoring God! Just want to encourage you-there are many mommas out there who have the same ideals as you. You aren't alone-although, sometimes it may feel that way. Keep pressing toward the mark. Nurse your baby. Have a natural home birth...don't give your kiddos dyed foods! It's your choice!

Brittany said...

Um, AMEN SISTER!!!!!!!!! I feel my last to births were so crazy and out of my control because I didn't do a home birth....like I wanted and felt God did too. I was more concerned with the fact that my insurance didn't cover it, so I'd just go as much natural at the hospital as I could. And of course the last to deliveries required me to have MORE interventions than I ever dreamed! I really believe the Lord said, "Okay, you chose this route...and here's what it will come with."
Good for you for listening to the Lord's calling and not fearing man's opinion!

Haley Galloway said...

I love to read REAL posts.
It's amazing-because you are testament. That when you completely surrender yourself to God and his purpose for your life, that he will bring you the most enjoyment out of this life. We aren't really meant to live a comfortable life-I've started to realize that more and more. If you are who God wants you to be, it's often a challenging life and you can forget about the easy route to things.


I've been praying a lot about a natural birth this time around. I've really had a lot laid upon my heart the past year. I failed miserably at a lot of things that unfortunately, I could have succeeded at if I would have allowed God to be my strength in it all. I love how God has shown me that he designed me specifically the way he did because he knew I could birth and nourish my children better than anyone or anything ever could.

I can completely relate to this post in so many ways, so thanks for sharing your heart!

WendyPierce said...

So, funny thing - I have a blog all typed up and ready to go about how I'm feeling pressured by the culture around here (and pretty much all by Christians) to homeschool, and eat organic, and use clothe diapers - and about how I'm tired of being pushed around by the "Christian Culture" :) I've been so wimpy to post it though. For the same reasons you didn't want to post this. I'm also in the middle of a post about Steel Magnolias! Saw you quoted that as well. Great minds think alike....or at least along opposite sides of the track in this case. Good on ya for doing what works for you though. I'm all for that!

annie said...

Girl. You are the momma- and you make the final decision- with the good Lords guidance of course! FOR ME, I like the hospital, but for you, if home birth works, then by all means GO FOR IT! And More power to you! As for the cloth diapers, I would have LOVED to do cloth, but it wasn't an option at E's school...so pampers it is. But- I knowyou'll stand your ground. I know you'll go "against the grain" if its something you feel strongly about...and I, as well as MANY others, will support you! Not that you care about that...but I just wanted to confirm that I don't think your bonkers! ;)

Leslie Shelton said...

I can't remember what post of yours I was reading a while ago, and for real - in my spirit I thought to myself "she is going to deliver at home next time"! I agree with your thoughts, and I've told you before as an older woman observing a younger woman...you are so wise! The world, especially the western world, has just continued to make the "unnatural" the norm. How did "natural" become odd? How did processed, "edible" products become "food." I think that more often than not, most people have a "to each his own" attitude, or they love and support you no matter what, or they appreciate the differences in others! Or all of the above! Looking forward to watching that next chapter unfold when the time is right!

Rebecca said...

Well you KNOW i am ALL for everything you just said! And you KNOW I absolutely LOVED my homebirth but just like these women said, it's YOUR (and Kevin's decision) why should we let what "they" (whoever "they" are) say so deeply effect what WE decide is best for our family, or to second guess what has already been decided. Only you and Kevin can decide what is right for you (and clearly you already have) and stand FIRM to that word (as you already do and will continue to do)

Regardless of how many women see eye to eye with what you believe, you still have A TON of women who will support you in YOUR decision! We are all here for you, so go on with ya "good" (instead of bad) self! :)

Bethany said...

Although I had my daughter at the hospital, I had a completly drug free birth and a doula by my side. I didn't even go to the hospital until I was basically ready to push and at 9cm. I would say at least 95% of people thought I was crazy because I did not want drugs and I wanted to be in control of my labor and the birth of my child. I prayed everyday while I was pregnant for God to give my body the strength to do what he created it to do. And by His grace, he did! My doula was AMAZING and helped me not only at home before going to the hospital, but kept me informed every step of the way at what the doctors and nurses were trying to do at the hospital. I took classes that supported natural child birth, learned my rights, and felt very confident going in. I refused to be hooked up to an IV and I even refused to push with my feet in stirrups (they thought I was crazy and tried to talk me out of it). I ended up pushing and delivering while on my side. Although I didn't have a home birth, I do support them as well. If you ever want to talk, I love sharing my experience!!! I can honestly say it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life! God totally took over and I have never felt such calmness, confidence, and peace!!! You will not regret this decision. Obviously, you always have to be prepared and willing to change things if need be. I am always excited to hear other people who believe in this! Seriously people, why are we the crazy ones???? God made us to deliver babies, and I am pretty sure he didn't have drugs in mind at the time :)